“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” – T. S. Eliot
People sometimes ask me if it’s hard to coach individuals who say they want to change direction but keep doing the same old things that hold them back. One friend said recently, “It must be so frustrating when they don’t take your advice”. I smiled and tried to explain that as a professional coach, I actually get paid not to give advice!
My job is not to tell you what to do but to act as a guide as you discover for yourself what you need to do in order to be happier, more successful, or change direction. When it comes to making meaningful and lasting change, the best chance you have is learning to listen to yourself. Coaching works because coaches believe in you. The journey can be daunting and usually takes time, patience and trust. Timing is everything. You have to be ready.
Enter the Third Act: This is the time in life when it makes the most sense to take a deep dive into how you want to live and what you want to leave behind. I’ve started talking to friends and clients about this stage, as we are entering it together, and I’m gathering some valuable lessons on how to make the most out of this special time in life.
As part of my research, I discovered a Julia Louis-Dreyfus podcast, Wiser than Me, where she interviews wise elder women who share their touching personal stories. The first episode is with the iconic and irreverent Jane Fonda, now 86 years old. She spoke about turning 59 and waking up to the realization that she likely had 30 years left – hence the Third Act – and decided to conduct a life review because “You can’t really know where you’re going if you don’t know where you’ve been”.
Fonda discovered that by looking back at her childhood, she realized she had spent much of her life trying to be what other people thought she should be instead of being who she was meant to be. Sound familiar? What if the gift of age is that now you get to become who you were always meant to be? I’ve been thinking a lot about that one.
A few other questions inspired by the podcast that I invite you to consider:
- Knowing what you know now, is there something you’d go back and tell yourself at 21?
- Is there something you would go back and say yes to? Is there something you would say no to or do differently?
- What does looking back tell you about who you are meant to be today?
On a lighter note, one of my favourite parts of the podcast is when Julia Louis-Dreyfus loses power on a Zoom call and doesn’t realize she is still being recorded. I love that even a celebrity has tech issues and loses her cool! None of us is perfect. There is wisdom in that too.
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Here’s to the journey ahead, filled with exploration and the gift of age. Until next time, keep thriving and embracing every moment.
With gratitude,
Lianne
